The Calm before the Storm?

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I wouldn't normally consider myself to be a sappy kind of person, but this week has been one of deep reflection for me.

It seems my classes are "speaking" to me personally in their content,

and normal stressful situations have somehow transformed into feelings of peace.

I finally feel confident with my direction and motivation in life.

 

So I think..what is going on? I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or something. I'm immediately suspicious....but I'm not sure of what. Is this like the calm before the storm?

Please tell me I'm not the only one that has experienced this. Comment anyone?

 

Contributing to these warm feelings were the people who surrounded me this weekend.

My two sister-in-laws and I planned a "surprise" 40th anniversary party for my husbands parents.

And although they eventually did figure it out, *AHEM, my MIL actually* they did have a great time!

We had wonderful family and friends that came to share in their celebration.

 

40 years.

Wow, unbelievable.

I can only hope that in 30 more years B and I will still be that completely in love.

B did surprise me with a love note Thursday night. 

It read: To my favorite person, from yours. I love you.

I think we are on the right track ;)

 So one of my biggest party-planning responsibilities was "The Cake".

Tired with the idea of trying to recreate a photo I found, instead I created this...

and I think it turned out right nice! *pat, pat*

(I totally love it actually, but I love roses and the greenery.)

And my in-laws loved it too. *Whew!* I was so unbelievably nervous.

And during all of the craziness of setting up tables, stacking the cake tiers, decorating, running to the store for last second supplies etc. my parents volunteered to help me by doing my mom thing...

driving N around all over town. 

First art camp, then lunch, then her cheerleading game etc etc.

I think they were more tired than she was!

 

How very blessed I am to have the family I do. Seriously. 

Squeeze your babies, kiss your spouse, and just saturate yourself with the thoughts of your blessings.

~heather

Calendars are overrated

I finally am feelin' my school groove again.

I survived my first online chat and message boards,

learned how to use a plethora of new computer programs,

turned in my first couple of assignments already,

and they came back 100%.  WooT!

I'm Baaaaaack!

Although--stress is still running pretty high around here none-the-less. 

First embarrassing news hot off the press to spill--I made my first doctor scheduling oopsie today. We drove over an hour to N's appt to find out....it is actually NEXT Tuesday.

What? Seriously? No. Yes? Oh Good gravy!!

So to make it less of a complete waste of gas and time, I went browsing. And I found this--

Neat-O!

I had never seen a journal like this before. And N who totally loves any and every kind of journal imaginable would totally heart it!--So I had to get it for her. =)

As I was pondering how I made such a bad oopsie I came to a most ridiculous-but-I'm-gonna-use-it-anyway reason of...I had mintmakingitis.

Uh yeahhhhh, mintmakingitis.

Those are double stacked people. With another couple sheets you cannot see. Although I did not have to make them all myself (thank you Lord) I think the cream cheese and sugar did something to overload my brain.

And yes, they are drying in the empty baby crib. The safest and cleanest place from my pups and the ever so sneaky B who I am watching like a HAWK so he doesn't snag some more. *Caught twice...Uh huh* ;)

This is for a super special party that I will talk about in a later blog post.

And to add to the stress of life right now, we did get more feedback about our adoption progress.

Another birthmother we had shown interest in is coming due here in about 3 weeks.

A girl. Healthy. Most everything of qualities we are looking for...

Except--

Birthfather issues. 

Enough that make us uncomfortable --- therefore we denied a match possibility.

Disappointing. Very much so.

So much is going on. I'm tried and I'm stressed.

I'm not much for whining.

I just ask for prayers our way. Amidst our craziness and trying to just keep up with life right now.

And also for better calendars, mine seems to be off by a week. 

Hmmm....Yep exactly one week. ;)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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Ok so it isn't August but technically this is appropriate. 

*And I heart ridiculous commercials so I had to add it, don't you?*

I am officially back to school and I'm definitely feeling like the kids on this commercial.

I was on a serious roll this morning--I had my oatmeal and coffee,

got N off to school *on time* without having to run down the hallway in a mad dash for the school bus in my pajamas, (yes occasionally, sorry neighbors!)

AND I got in a full exercise routine....

 All before 9:30 am.

Man, I'm good, no no Fab, (I thought)

I then sat down at my computer and nonchalantly opened up my online course organizer for school (which technically started yesterday but N had appointments so that was a no-go)

And...

if I had the ability to take a photograph of myself, it would have looked something like this...

Source 

Seriously. Even the hair.

I'm taking 5 online courses this semester.

Each professor has made it a point to outline their curriculum COMPLETELY different than one another. 

*I am starting to suspect their meeting over coffee, donuts, and some other extremely intelligent source of nourishment only professors can eat, and plotting this out specifically against me.*;)~

I am completing my Bachelor of Science in Family Studies and Human Services. Don't ask me what I specifically am going to do yet because I will have to pony up to...I haven't decided yet. There is so much I want to do with families, and kids, and adoption, and disabilities, and therapies etc. and etc. How can one choose just one? Or as a fellow blogger and friend would suggest, start something of my own I'm passionate about. How smart you are Miss Amy. =)

I would like to be done at least by the time our youngest would be going to all day kindergarten. Being a momma is my biggest passion after all.

So with the exception of about a half hour break for lunch, my rear has been sitting idle doing homework.

And as unproductive as I feel today, I do feel I got a bit done.

Even though by now I kinda feel like doing this...

(this bird was sleeping yesterday, and I just wanted to squeeze it but decided it best not to. I do cherish my eyesight afterall) =)

And then I realized that I still need more folders and ink...and another notebook. Psssh!!

Anyone else starting up school again and sharing my pain?

Happy Back to School!

Day-Dates

Ok....to begin, what is up with this weather? Anybody know what is going on? 56 degrees in January?

 

I actually had the chance to open my windows and let in the fresh air. You will hear NO complaints by this girl, this year, about the weather. I'm ready to break out my flip-flops and tank tops and enjoy this fine April January day of wonderfulness!

On a different note, I have been trying my best to be lazy this week.

*Yes, Really!* 

I have to make it a point. If not I will clean, organize, shop, make lists, etc to make sure I'm doing SOMETHING productive. Being productive is key to my existence. 

 I am savoring each and every minute of this freedom because I start school again "officially" tomorrow. 

N has more doctor appointments that will fill most of the day, so technically I will be in full swing on Wednesday and start wellllllllll... a day late. Online classes, THIS is exactly why I completely heart you.

B and I got together for a little day-date a couple days ago. Something we never seem to have a chance for anymore and we went here...

Absolute Deliciousness. This girl felt like she needed to change into her fat pants after eating all of this. No leftovers... no way. =)

And I also had to snag a photo of their awesome soda machine. Has anyone ever seen one of these?

Seven different kinds of Coca-Cola, 8 or 9 different kinds of Fanta and a whole plethora of others- This sucker was a soda lovers dream with all the possibilities. Plus, it looked way Back to the Future'ish. Yes, I guess I really am easily amused.

Being fat and happy we then went to love on some super cute "maminals". Because I am a kid at heart, and because although B hates to admit it, he enjoys to go too ;)

Just look at these guys!

Squeezie all on their furry faces of Love!

I say, find happiness in the smallest things in life. It seems to be those memories that stand out the most anyway. I heart you B.

~heather

Riding the Rollercoaster...

Well I warned you posts like this were coming...

We got our first glimmer of progress about 3 weeks ago-a total shot in the dark really, but at least it was SOMETHING other than waiting---so it counts in our eyes. Our Case Worker had mentioned if we saw any "Available Situations" on their page that would interest us to let her know.

I was pretty hesitant. Thoughts were swirling in my head like, "How does a person 'pick' a birthmom exactly?" "Am I supposed to pick her first?" "Am I trying to control the situation too much if I do?" "What if I pick her and she says she is uninterested, how bad will that hurt to hear?"

So I turn to B who is my strength when my mind starts getting overwhelmed on literally EVERYTHING that could possibly go wrong with the situation.

"Let it be." He tells me. (all calm, cool, and collected-like while I am drowning myself in worry).

"She (our case worker) asked us if there was a situation we may be interested in (which there WAS) so tell her yes and go from there."

Ok. Well-Yes. That does makes sense. Duh!

*Come on brain quit working so hard!*

It sucks to be a emotional female in some situations-especially those FULL of emotions...am I right, or am I right ladies? ;)

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So, I told her yes and she had to check to see if our preferences matched hers...She would have to get back with me.

So we waited.... and waited.......and Waited.

Nothing.

I assumed it wasn't going to work out and finally had the guts to try to contact her back today. I was told that this birthmother isn't being matched just yet but will be soon (hence her hesitation in contacting me back). Her first ultrasound 'confirmed' she was carrying a girl. Upon a second follow-up ultrasound....now (most-likely) a boy. =(

So this mom will be shown to adoptive couples who are interested in either gender.

Really? UGH!! *Figurative Stamping of the foot, and pouty face*

Then the feeling of pure disappointment slowly filtered in and feelings of 'What if that would have actually worked out?' hit me like a brick.

***********************************************************************

Our wait continues...

 I'm trying NOT to be bummed too bad. It was a shot in the dark and we knew it. 

It's disappointing to hear but I know my baby girl is out there. With our perfect/not-so-perfect birth mother that is carrying her .

God knows what will be perfect FOR US.

It finally felt like our rollercoaster started moving, even if just for a second. And that, in itself, does feel really good.

~heather

Doing the School Countdown

Time flies by so fast these days, these past few years to be exact. And today I am feeling like the never ending list of Have To-Do's is always over-powering my list of Want to-Do's. *siiiiiigh*

I Want to Do This...

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Upon researching it a bit, it is expensive and impossible for me to do the fancy lids myself. So I got stuck doing this instead, my boring Have-To-Do's...

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Seriously?! Bleck!

AND....I'm done whining now.

*Sigh*

Ok, maybe now???????   ;)

I think I am feeling this way because school for me is starting soon. The countdown has officially begun and I have 6 days (counting the weekend) until my life is again filled by textbooks and assignments and essays.

  I do enjoy school (don't get me wrong) learning new things everyday and one day getting a job working with families that I will love totally rocks! I'm mourning my upcoming loss of time...my Want to Do Time!! Too bad humans have to sleep. I think many people would be just fine with 5-8 hours of extra time every day. 

**Want-to-Do List Addition: discover a way for humans to survive without sleep.**

  What always lifts my spirits is good home cookin' which I have had more time to put thought towards with my break.

So I made this....

Nom Nom Nom!

Baked Chicken with Homemade BBQ sauce, smothered with mushrooms and topped with melty cheese. With some good ol' mashed tatos, cottage cheese, and peas.

Yep, that worked =)))))

No word yet on adoption progress. We still are waiting, and waiting, and waiting.....*Groan* AND *Sigh*

Always a Must-To- Do: Pray a bit harder tonight and thank God for ALL of my blessings. Oh yes, and patience...and, well... even more patience, please.

~heather

SchoooooooL's Back? Oh darn it.

We made it! Up and out the door on time that is for N's first day back at school. Rolling out of bed at 6:30a.m. just stinks. If you don't know me well already, I am NOT much of a morning person. N is always happy to get up....unless it's a school day, then the game completely changes.

Grumbles and whines at the beginning are normal, but after a vacation break--the grumbles are longer and whines usually turn into some tears of anxiety. =( *A common Spina Bifida struggle and well...just being 9*

But B had left her a note at the breakfast table that read...

 Which dried the tears and replaced them with a huge smile =) *This kid LOVES playing Dodgeball as much as she loves Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies* And kinda made me teary-eyed because it was so very sweet of him. We can be quite a mess together lol

So after the bus had gone I thought my loneliness from my family being gone and I having nadda to do until school starts could be replaced by working out. (Isn't this pretty much on everyone's priority list right now?) I purchased the Jazzercise Burlesque workout DVD (which is super awesome btw since a membership is a bit too expensive right now) and realized how extremely out of shape I am. After starting, I took a break *yes, really* and thought I might want to shut the curtains in case the meter reading guy shows up in my backyard and I scare him with all my hip shaking action.

By the 3rd song I was panting like a fat dog in summer and realized how much pizza and beer (one of my favs) sits on my hips and belly so very unattractive-like when doing hip swivels.

Must get back into Shape. Yes, indeed-de-do.

I'm think some reading and possibly trying to make a pen completely on my own is on the agenda for the afternoon. Makes me nervous using power tools, I am so not fearless in that way.

But I did find this piece of awesomeness yesterday while we were puddering about at Cabela's before N's doctor appointments. 

 

I am totally NOT a hunter (I could never kill Bambi) but it was amazing and I look pretty fearless, eh?  ;)~

~heather

BTW: I hope to fill my photos with our new pens for Sale very SOON! If you are interested in purchasing to help with our adoption costs (YaY!) AND/OR just are sweet and would pass our FB page (top right) and my Blog along to friends to help us get word out that would be... Amazing, Awesome and we do genuinely Thank you with great muchness! =)

Back in the Groove...Almost.

For the most part today was pretty uneventful....I say that with thanks because school will be starting up again very soon...Hmmpph!

We woke up at a lazy 10 a.m. (we meaning N too who NEVER lets us sleep in much past 7) How AMAZING bedsheets feel at hours you are not usually in them, Ahhhh!

We then piddled around the house for a bit, then got to work turning some new pens.

It is Ch.. Ch... Chilly outside in our unheated garage. My expression is that of "I can't feel my fingers now!"

Then N spent the afternoon with a buddy at the movie theater and saw Dolphin Tale--said it was pretty cool. *On my list of must see movies to rent btw*

Then someone had to catch up on her AR reading she had been slacking on over Christmas break...

 What? Your kiddo doesn't read on top of your fridge? Well, it's an awesome short term distraction for a kiddo who is whining about having to do it, AND finds it super cool to be "on top of the whole world" for a couple minutes. (Thank goodness I just cleaned the dust bunnies up there ;)

One more day of freedom before the routine begins. We will spend most of the day at a doc appt for N however. =( Hmmm, I'm thinking pizza might surprise her and be fun...

~heather